MURDER IN ROMANCE

     Mallory Kramer was not a nice person, especially to social misfit and ghost whisperer, Carolina Sinclair.  When Mallory goes missing and shows up in Carolina’s bedroom asking for her help, Carolina goes against her better judgment and informs the police.

     The Romance Police Department wants nothing to do with crazy Carolina Sinclair and pushes her off on FBI Agent Nathan Clayborne.  Special Agent Clayborne’s interest in Carolina threatens to cross professional boundaries as the quirky trio embark on a twisted adventure to catch Mallory’s killer and stop him from striking again.

Excerpt

Chapter 1

“Great,” Carolina said, turning over in her bed and spying Mallory Kramer perched in her pod chair in the corner of her bedroom. “I just knew this kidnapping thing wasn’t going to end well.”

“So, you really can see me.” Mallory adjusted herself in the chair and tucked a long, dark curl behind her ear. “I always thought you were just a nutcase.”

“Look, I have no desire to hang out with you and commiserate over the death you probably deserved. So, take a hike. I need to get some sleep.”

Mallory didn’t flinch and the evil grin she was famous for stretched across her mouth. “Wow. Who knew that sweet, little Carolina Sinclair could be such a bitch?”

“Fuck you, Mallory. And get out of my bedroom.”

“Tsk, Tsk. There’s no need for such hostility.” Mallory sat on the edge of Carolina’s four poster bed.

Carolina’s patience wore thin. Mallory had been a thorn in her ass since third grade and last night her perky, perfect face was plastered all over the local news. Mallory’s car had been found abandoned in the parking lot of Cookie’s Tavern and no one had seen her for three days. She knew instantly Mallory was dead but didn’t really expect her to show up and she wanted her to just go away. Exhausted, Carolina needed a good night’s sleep. She pulled her overstuffed pillow over her head and willed Mallory to disappear. “Get out,” she muttered, through gritted teeth.

“Not until you help me tie up some loose ends.”

“You couldn’t possibly have any loose ends besides those in the lower half of your body.”

“Ooh, snarky. I like it, Carolina. Remind me why I shunned you?”

Carolina peeked out from beneath her pillow. “It’s four o’clock in the morning. How long have you been dead? Did you purposely wait until two hours before dawn to come bother me?”

“Don’t you want to know what happened to me? Even if only to sate your own morbid curiosity?”

“No. I want to sleep. I have three more hours left on my Lunesta dosage.” Even in death, Mallory’s self-centered personality prevailed. Carolina managed to tune her out enough to fall back asleep. With any luck, the wicked witch of Romance wouldn’t be there when she woke up.

Mallory was nowhere to be found when Carolina rolled out of bed and perused her mental to-do list. Douglas, the Yorkshire Terrier, sat on the dining room table having his breakfast while Carolina tossed a handful of fresh blueberries into a carton of nonfat yogurt. She didn’t like breakfast food and wasn’t feeling ambitious enough to construct anything that required more effort than peeling off a foil lid.

“Douglas, my boy, you have an appointment with the groomer this morning.” His lustrous hair hung in his eyes despite Carolina’s attempts to secure it back with pink bobby pins. She usually kept his fur in a puppy cut, preferring the teddy bear effect over the doggy prima donna look.

Douglas looked up at the mention of his name, then returned to his feast of kibble.

“I have to feed Stellaluna before we head out.” She ran her hand down Douglas’ back and padded through the kitchen and into the sheltered patio attached to the rear of the house.

The mostly-white Pygmy goat rested on her faux sheepskin rug and jumped to her feet when Carolina unlatched the bottom of the double hinged door.

“Stellaluna, come eat.” Carolina placed the stainless steel dog bowl filled with oats and sweet feed on the cement floor. She tousled the tuft of hair atop the goat’s head and re-latched the door.

Carolina brushed her teeth and put her blonde hair up into a ponytail. Even though she had a designated hook for her car keys, they never seemed to be there. She dumped the contents of her purse onto the couch and sifted through the receipts and candy wrappers. Her keys were amongst the mess that she opted not to put back in her purse. Snatching her wallet out of the pile, she scooped Douglas off the table and set the alarm on her way out.

Douglas’ eyes pleaded with Carolina not to leave him with Betty Jo who would shampoo and condition him, cut and style his fur and clip and clear-coat his nails. Carolina kissed Douglas on the nose and waved to Miss Betty Jo. “I’ll be back this afternoon to pick him up.”

“Take your time, sweetheart.”

Keys in hand, she crossed the parking lot and lost the skip in her step when she saw the raven-haired woman sitting in the passenger seat of her Audi.

Dammit.

Carolina climbed into the driver’s seat and angled a glare at Mallory who smiled in return and cocked up one perfectly waxed eyebrow. She couldn’t deny Mallory’s beauty; nor that said beauty was only skin deep.

In high school, Mallory had been a cheerleader and honor student, president of the student body, a bully and a slut. The quintessential overachiever. Most girls hated her and all the guys wanted to fuck her. She was slightly selective, however, in who she shared her body with. During their senior year, rumors circulated that Mallory bedded a member of the faculty and a college professor who offered tutoring to AP students after hours.

Mallory teased and ridiculed Carolina for being a member of the FFA and vice-president of the Soroptimist Club and went so far as to shoot rubber bands at her while she gave her salutatorian speech at graduation. She had singlehandedly made Carolina’s existence miserable.

Determined to not let Mallory intimidate her, Carolina cranked the ignition and put the car in reverse. “I thought I told you to get lost.”

“Believe me, honey, I’m just as eager as you are to end this little affair. I hear the after death party is to die for.” Mallory tipped her head back and laughed. “No pun intended. Well, maybe a little. But apparently, I can’t get my name on the invite roster until I cross some items off my to-do list.”

Carolina looked up at the roof of her car. “Why me?”

“Good question. If I were you, I would be seriously pissed at God for your lot in life. At least you’re not poor. I guess it could always be worse.”

“What do I have to do with your list?”

“I need you to go to the Romance Police Department and help them find who killed me.”